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A Confession |
| by William N. Wingstrom 11/11/1915 - 05/06/1998 |
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I can't remember how old I was. I remember that I was attending Dewey School in Evanston Illinois. Dewey was a primary school so it must have been when I was in the fifth or sixth grade. I was a big kid for my age. No one pushed me. No one encouraged me. No one asked me. I didn't read about it. As a matter of fact I had no choice. It was automatic. It just happened one day on the playground. Like Adam, what I saw was "a delight to the eye and was to be desired." The nuisances were not a millstone around a fellow's neck -- instead they created in me a warm and pleasant feeling and I wanted to be with them. On that date, whatever it was, I knew in my heart of hearts that I liked girls. I was always one to activate my thoughts so I began to chase girls. I was persistent in my chase. It was helpless. No scolding or threats or prayers of my parents lessened my feeling about girls. I continued the chase until I was 25 years old when one of them caught me. We established a relationship and after 50 years the relationship changed -- my partner, my mate, my love died. The relationship was not created in Heaven although sometimes I thought it must have been. It began in Winnetka, Illinois, and, after suffering through six years of separation occasioned by the Second World War, and 37 changes of address, came to a close in Napa, California. I expect it was like most marriages with some downs but with mostly ups. It was wonderful. To have someone always with you and for you is an indescribably delightful experience. To have someone whom I cared for and helped to be all she could really be made me feel I was "just a little less than the Gods." It was such a wonderful experience I continue it in my heart and take courage that not even death shall separate us. My faith, which was nurtured and grew in that relationship, makes me believe that one day we will be together again. I can't explain it -- to me it just is. Years ago those of us who are white opened our ears to the righteous demands of the black minority. There is not yet full integration but we have come a long way and our lives and society are greatly enriched as African Americans are taking their rightful place among us. Today another group, lesbians and gays, are knocking on the door of our lives and society, asking for the same rights that all the rest of us enjoy. Most experience indicates that lesbians and gays have no more choice than I did when I awoke one day and decided I liked girls. I don't really understand why a man would choose another man to be his life mate. But I don't think it is as important that I understand the process as it is for me to accept them and allow them to live their lives as I have lived mine, with the same rights that I have enjoyed. Speaking as a Christian I want to follow Jesus' basic teaching. "Love one another." I believe at the very least this means that we must accept one another. God, the Creator, created differences. All of us are very similar but there are obvious differences; skin texture and color, eye and hair color, weight, height, foot and hand sized. God made these differences and more. I know lots of people much more intelligent than I am. As a Christian I remember that God said what He created was good. I accept God as the author of differences. I accept what He has created. I accept that He is wiser than I am. I accept you -- and gays and lesbians. While I am making my confession I want also to confess that I don't understand why many of my heterosexual friends chose the partners they did. I have also heard many parents say that they didn't understand the choices made by their children. I guess one day all of us will have to accept the truth -- that God made us in His image -- He didn't make the world in our image. I am not trying to be spokesman for God -- He is more than capable of speaking for Himself. What I am sharing with you is my understanding of what God said. Lastly, and I have been lasting for a long time [Mr. Wingstrom was 81 when he wrote this], I had such a rich, varied, wonderful, loving life with Nan -- I could not live with myself if I did anything to deprive another of the same opportunity. I write motivated by love. I love God and what He has created. I love you. William N. Wingstrom |